And The Band Played On

Yesterday, Saturday, was supposed to be a rainy wash out of a day here in central Jersey. But when I got up it was cloudy and mild. So I decided to take advantage of the not-wash out time I had to tackle something in my garden, cutting down my giant grasses. I have a big garden in my back yard with trees and paths and garden beds and grasses of varying sizes. Grasses take care of themselves all year, until March when they need to be cut back in preparation for the new growing season.

A couple of years ago my husband, Rich, expressed a concern that I would not be able to keep up with the demands of our home alone. He had cancer and although he was doing really well, there was still that reality. And he was, to be honest, the hardest working member of our family when it came to our home. Not only did he pretty much build our house but he also took care of the lawn, the snow, the garden, the structures, the vehicles, the appliances… Well you get the picture. He was Superman. And he loved it all. I understood what he was thinking, but I was kind of put off by his comment.

This past January my Superman lost his battle with cancer. It broke my heart to lose him. But I also felt something in me grow stronger; my resolve. I decided I can manage the demands of our home. And the reason I can do it is because of all I learned from him. You see, I was right there by his side, watching and listening and absorbing all he did to keep our home humming. I didn’t often need to help because he was so good at EVERYTHING that there was little left for me to do. But I know what needs to be done. And I know how to get things done.

I’ll need more help than before, a lawn maintenance company, someone to get rid of the mice that take up residence in the attic now and then, repair people for this and that (I used to just say, “Rich, I think the ________ needs to be looked at”) and the support of our children, neighbors and friends. And, of course, I have an entire house, shed, and garage full of tools! Tools I kind of even know how to use!

So, back to this morning, when I tackled the giant grasses in our beloved garden that have to be cut down every March. I dragged out the electric hedge trimmer Rich bought me (yup, he loved buying tools “for me”), found an extension cord, unraveled everything, got it plugged in and I took down the giant grasses! I leveled off the bottom of them as best I could, raked up the debris and stood back to admire my work.

As I stood back a song popped in my head, it was the old song, “And the Band Played On”. It cracked me up that of all songs that is the one I was thinking of. I don’t know where it came from but then it occurred to me. The band will play on. I will go on. I can and I will carry all of Rich’s and my dreams forward. One household chore at a time. Love you, Superman!