Ten Things About My Hero

I wrote this title a year ago nearly two months after my husband Rich’s passing but I couldn’t bring myself to write the list. The title sat there in my drafts, begging to be written. So here I am, one year (and two months) later, putting some of these feelings to “paper”. I just went right through things as they occurred to me, in no particular order. I’m sure I left things out but I’m ok with that. Sometimes you just need to go with your heart and trust the outcome.

1. He had the best smile. He was actually known for his smile. People who didn’t remember his name would say, “You mean that guy who always smiles?” And when he smiled his whole face lit up. And when that smile was accompanied by his laugh, well the whole room lit up, let me tell you!

2. He could disappear. It’s true! I would walk all over the house, inside and out and he would be gone. And then he would just appear. “I’ve been looking all over for you,” I would say. “I’ve been right here,” his reply. At work the joke was, “Just wait 15 minutes, he’ll come by.”

3. He loved his work. He loved tools and equipment and troubleshooting. If it weren’t for wanting to come home to me he would have popped a cot in his office. Everyone knew this about him.

4. He could not resist teasing people. And he was soooo good at it. I remember calling to bug him to head home (he loved to linger at work). “I’m in Springfield, I’ll be home soon.” Hmmm, I thought to myself, I always call him right when he is in Springfield. “Are you really in Springfield?” Then I got that laugh.

5. He could fix, design, build, and improve anything. He built houses and 9/11 bell towers and 1951 Jeeps. He repaired equipment and appliances and heavy machinery. He designed log splitters and modified tunnel boring machines. He created gardens and stone walls and brick paths. And he enjoyed every moment.

6. He was very brave. He taught me to be brave. And I know he had fears. He talked to me about them. But still, he was brave.

7. He loved his family. Even though he truly would have lived at work because he loved work, he loved his family more. If I complained that he was at work too many hours (14 hour days were not an exaggeration) he would always remind me, “I always come home dear.” And he did.

8. He was very patient. He taught me patience. Our sons followed him all around when they were small with their own little set of tools. He would pause and show them how and wait for them to get out of his way before continuing with whatever he was doing. He never lost his patience. And he put up with me! I take a lot of patience.

9. He was strong and he was healthy. Even as a cancer patient going through a health checklist it was often remarked (by medical staff), “You’re the healthiest person in this room.” And his strength and health stayed with him right up until the end. We didn’t know it was so close to the end because he was so strong.

10. He was the best. The best husband, father, son, brother, uncle, friend, boss, coworker, the best person you could know. Even people who got really mad at him still counted him as one of the best. He left a great hole in our lives but it is a hole full of amazing memories and love. And that is his great legacy. The legacy of a great man.